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2011-01-30 08:52 pm

Writer's Block: Breaking the habit

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My lack of self-confidence/self-worth, in general, I think. I have a hard time believing in myself, and I struggle to believe other people, when they point out positive things about me; which means that I seek out constant validation from people, but don't take compliments well (when I get them); and that isn't exactly fair to the people around me. It's... a constant work in progress, basically. I do hope that I'll someday be able to be happy and proud of who I am, as a full person, and that I'll be able to accept all my faults as well; but it won't happen over night. It takes time and work, and I know that. I'm getting closer every day, though, so that's good.
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2010-11-25 09:26 am

Writer's Block: That's one cold turkey

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We don't celebrate that here in Denmark. Showing your American centrism, yet again, LJ? :P.
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2010-11-20 11:36 am

Writer's Block: Family matters

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I don't really get this question, tbh. Why and how would you ever 'choose' the number of siblings like that? I have 3 younger siblings, and despite of all of the fighting and all the hurting at times, I would never choose to remove/change any of them; and I definitely wouln't just 'add' a new sibling for my own benefit. I love my siblings for who they are, because they are my siblings, not because of how many they are, or what gender they are. Idk, it just feels weird to me that anyone would think of their siblings in numbers/genders like that.  But that's probably because I have siblings, so the thought of being able to choose like that is way too foreign to me. I get wanting siblings, though, but to think about 'how many' just weirds me out. I'd always wanted an older sibling, but I would never actually choose to get one, or to change things, even if I could.

or maybe I'm just reading too much into this question, lol.
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2010-09-27 11:18 pm

Writer's Block: Mark Antony, we hardly knew ye

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I have OCD, so negative obsessions are not a foreign subject to me, but in my case they have been, and still are, very different from being passionate about something to the point of an obsession. Negative obsessions, for me, are things that sneak up on you, that won't go away no matter how much you want them to; things that makes you feel so pained and hurt, to the point of despair (if your obsession about something makes you unable to function, or hurt others, then it's also a problem, of course). And when I'm passionate about something, it's because it gives me happiness and joy, or because I think it's important. And even when I am obsessed, it still doesn't hurt me, really. So what if I've got Jon Stewart on my mind a lot, as long as it doesn't pain me to the point of wishing for death, or somehow hurts him/makes me unable to function, it's not negative to me. I try to separate my fannish/social- change obsessions from my OCD obsessions, because the difference lie in how the obsessions make me feel, and how it impacts others. And even if my passion about social- causes can hurt me, it's not directly thinking about the causes that pains me; it's how people treat/react to the causes. Does that make sense? The causes are things I want to think about, things that I want to care about, even if they can depress me; my OCD is not. And yeah, sometimes the two can bleed together, because my OCD shapes my way of thinking about things, and how much I think about things, but they're still two vastly different things to me. The only similarity, to me, is that they're both a form of an obsession; that's it.

Old writer's block, sorry, I know, but I just needed to rant a little. It's probably incoherent and full of mistakes, but whatever. 

I'll try to do a real update soon, I promise; today has just been too exhausting, because I've been pumped with all this new information, and I need to process it, before I can do anything else. Hope you are all well.
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2010-09-11 02:03 pm

Writer's Block: The day the earth stood still

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It's a day of reflection, mostly. I think about the victims of the attack, the families of the people who died in the attack, the survivors of the attack, and all the soldiers, from around the world, not just America, who have been fighting, and sometimes died, ever since the attack, to prevent this kind of thing from ever happening again. I think about where I was when it happened, and what impact it has had on America, and the rest of the world.

I don't remember much from 9/11, or even before 9/11, because I was only a 10/11 year old girl when the attack happened. 9/11 was the first big news event I remember hearing about, but I was so young, that I didn't really understand what it was about. I grew up in a post-9/11 world, so I only remember the day through child-eyes. It was only years later that I actually began to think about it, and understand what happened on that day.

This is what I remember from that day:

It was around afternoon here, because of the time differences between Denmark and America, and I was playing with a friend. After my friend went home, I went into the living room, and saw my parents watching the news, where the images of the twin towers burning caught my eyes. I thought it looked like a movie, so I asked what it was. My mother told me that some really bad people had attacked some famous buildings in America, and killed a lot of people. I also remember seeing the buildings crumple, and being a little bit afraid, but the rest of the day is a blur. Next day in school, we talked about the attacks, and held 5 minutes silence for all the victims. I remember asking, angry and disgusted, "But if these people wanted to kill themselves, why did they have to take so many innocent people with them?!" because I was too young, and too innocent,  to understand the horrible fact, that goal wasn't to commit suicide, but to cause pain and hurt to others. It was only years later that I found out that this was the case. I also remember days after the attack, seeing pictures of people falling from the towers in the magazines, and being shocked. It still haunts me.
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2010-09-05 02:17 pm

Writer's Block: Personality goes a long way

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Not really, no. I've had a couple of anons on LJ trying to start shit, but that's it. No one has ever really harassed me on here, or elsewhere on the internet, thankfully.
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2010-08-17 06:40 pm

Writer's Block: I'm your biggest fan

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It depends. If I visit a community like ONTD, I'm not there for the celebs, I'm there for the snark in the comments. I don't really care about the lives of the celebs, I'm just there for fun.

I do care about the lives of celebrities who I love and admire, to a certain extent. I don't go out of my way, trying to find stuff, that's not public information. I think that there's a fine line between looking at information, that anyone can find, and go looking for information, that's not in the public eye. I try not doing the latter. I am also well aware that the persona of the celebrity in question, is a front put up when they're in the public eye. I don't *really* know the person, even if I have an idea about who they are as a person; so I don't feel totally creepy being a fan of them. Sometimes I stumble upon things that contain uncomfortable information, and I try to ignore it, or skip over it when that happens.
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2010-07-21 01:12 pm

Writer's Block: Star struck

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No, I don't. There are so many people who deserve attention, money, and recognition far more than celebrities do. (I'm thinking about people like doctors/nurses, therapists, firefigthers, and other people who's made a real difference it peoples lives.) Our culture is fucked up in regards of a lot of things, and fame is one of them; and although you can't put it in the same category as racism, sexism, and others forms of -isms, it still does some damage to our culture(tabloids, for one, puts up certain body images, invades privacy, and focuses on beauty to a scary degree).

Of course, how much fame is deserved, also depends on the celebrity. If you look at someone like Jon Stewart, he is famous for other reasons than, for example, Miley Cyrus is. In my mind he deserves fame, the money, and recognition(not as much as doctors, firefighters, therapists etc, but far more than Miley Cyrus), because he's famous for making a difference in our culture, in regards of things that matter.

And it is some very positive changes he's made; he's gotten young people into politics again, he has made them care more about different political issues, the news, and social justice. Even if this is done through satire and comedy, it has had an impact on a lot of people, and made a change in peoples lives(mine included).

When you compare that to Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothes, and Justin Bieber, who make mindless teen music, there's a huge difference.

And then you can take J.K Rowling, and compare her to Stephanie Meyer, and see what difference that makes. J.K Rowling can write, Stephanie Meyer can not. J.K Rowlings books are about love, loyalty, friendship and bravery. Stephenie Meyers are about sparkly abusive vampires, and being 'in love'. J.k Rowling has gotten a lot of children into reading again, taught them wonderful morals, and wrote them a fantastic story. Stephanie Meyer has glorified abusive relationships and bad writing, and made a sorry excuse of a story.

You can be famous for a lot of things; unfortunately it's often the most shallow and non-important things that gets the most attention. So yes, our culture is messed up in regards of this, even if it does sometime get it right; (Jon Stewart, J.K Rowling, etc). I'm not saying that there's something wrong with mindless pop music, or shitty written stories, I'm guilty of liking some of those things myself(Lady Gaga), but the glorification and attention these things get, compared to others, is messed up, in my opinion.


The again, this is only my, very biased, opinion on this issue, so idk.


iamashamed: (Default)
2010-07-16 11:07 pm

Writer's Block: Capital offense

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I'm against it. I don't believe that it is morally right to kill a person, as much as they might deserve it. Eye for an eye, or kill for a kill? I don't believe in that. It actually disgusts me that we still do this in 2010. I realize some people's crimes are so horrific, that they might deserve to die, but I'd rather see them locked up for life, than support the killing of them.

It's not that I feel for them, or that I support them in any way, it's just that I can't see myself support the death of a person, no matter how much they deserve it. I couldn't care less about the sick bastard who did the crime,  they deserve all the pain in the world for all I care; it's about my morals on the issue.

Which is pretty self-centered and might be wrong, but yeah.
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2010-07-02 01:57 pm

Writer's Block: Twilight is nearing

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Critical bystander. I used to love the books, and the first movie, but luckily I saw the light. The abusive relationships, the crappy writing, the shameless Mary Sue/self insert, all became clear to me, and now I strongly dislike it. I'm ashamed that I was ever a fan, but I'm glad that I changed my ways. Twilight is a horrible franchise, that glorifies abusive relationships and lack of talent. It sucks young girls into the books, and it makes them believe that being stalked and controlled by a man is somehow romantic. Besides this, it's also a badly written piece of glorified fanfiction, and the main character is a self-insert Mary Sue.

People comparing it to Harry Potter are doing a good job of making me lose faith in humanity.
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2010-06-07 10:44 am

Writer's Block: A rose by any other name

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Mine's Louise, and although it's pronounced differently in Danish(Lou-eez-uh), I actually like the English pronunciation better; in real life still use the Danish pronunciation, though. I would never want to change my name to another one, because names are names, and I don't feel like that's a decision I want to make; If other people choose to do that it's their business, of course.

ETA: The first one is pretty much how my name sounds in Danish: http://www.forvo.com/word/louise_bourgeois/,

and here: http://www.forvo.com/word/louise_de_lorraine-vaud%C3%A9mont/.

/Riveting tale chap.

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2010-06-06 09:45 pm

Writer's Block: Say cheese

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I like it, I think it's fun to take picures; it's fun to see how they'll turn out, and have various moments of different events captured to look at later.

I don't mind it, as long as it's public pictures from parties or other social gatherings, and that I know about it. I like Facebook because you get notificated when people post pictures of you, so you can control it most of the time. It's only people I know who can see them, so it's not totally public; then again it's the internet so you can never be 100% sure.

When I post pictures of myself in my journal I'd like to think people have the decency to not use those pictures without my permission, and if I find out someone has, then I will find out who it is, and they won't be on my flist anymore. I trust people on here not share my pics with other people when I post it, but I'm aware that it's a risk I'm taking.
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2010-05-22 07:08 pm

Writer's Block: Goodness gracious

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I've had several rare moments, and when they happen, they almost make up, just a little bit, for some of the tragic failures of humanity.

Jon Stewart is one of the people who continuously gives me faith in humanity. I can't even begin to explain why, because the love and respect I have for that man goes beyond words. He brings laugther, joy, and sense into a world that has so many flaws. His show gives me a sense of not being alone with my thoughts and feelings on everything from politics to basic human decency.

He also does a good job killing the stererotype of what ALL Americans are like. Living in a socialistic 'sissy' country that Bill O'reilly and Glenn Beck have so often used to create fear and fuel ignorance, it is refreshing to see opinions from an American who doesn't hate us or our values with a fiery passion, and who still doesn't shill for any party. And, as it turns out, there are many other Americans just like him out there, and I've met a lot of these people through mutual love of his show, and it has changed on how I see America and Americans. So thanks for that.

He is also supportive of basic human decency, like gay rights and helping the poor, which is some of the things that, in my opinion, makes a person very good. Him, being rich, outright saying that he wouln't mind paying more taxes to help poor people, gives me faith in the notion that some people, no matter how rich or famous they get, don't forget their basic human decency. He is one of the people who often create those moments in my life.

There has been other things, just little things, that people do sometimes, that gives me faith in humanity. Whether it is hearing about a child trying to earn money to help a family member out, seeing normal everyday people helping after a disaster or an accident took place, or people standing up for what is morally right. Moments like these, when people come together, in love, and help each other out, are heartwarming and gives me faith in humanity.

I often hate humanity and the bigotry of people, but there are moments where people do show their goodness and their compassion, and those moments mean a lot to me.
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2010-05-12 07:12 pm

Writer's Block: Sheldon and Penny 4ever!

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Love it when it's good; hate it when it's bad.

There is nothing worse in fandom, besides fandom crazies and drama, than bad fanfiction, especially bad porn. Luckily, it is mostly in the bigger fandoms that the badfic come out; I've found that in the smaller fandoms, the writing tends to be better, simply because it isn't as popular as the bigger ones. That is not to say that there isn't great fics in bigger fandoms, because there are, it can just be hard to sort the good from the bad. Bad fanfiction is why I don't write it myself, but judge from a safe distant. If I write, I want to make sure that my work it is actually good. That said, you can only get better the more you write, so of course there is going to be some bad stuff; it is only natural. I just prefer to learn and get better in secret, and let friends judge instead of the whole internet. I judge my own work too much and don't dare to post it, unless I am sure that it is decent, which I realize can be hard to find out when I don't post it, haha.

I know that you can only get better if you let other people see and give opinions on what you write, but I am too self-critical to post anything, and that is my problem. I don't write much either, I mostly comment on other people's work. Speaking of that...

It isn't easy for me to tell another person that I think their work is bad, which I know isn't going to help anything, but I just can't do it. Either I don't comment or I find something positive to comment on instead; I don't like saying "this was bad!" and hurt someones feelings, so I don't. I don't want to lie either, so I make sure that I mean what I say. If I do comment on something I think is bad, I make sure to compliment on something that I liked. I don't lie to people;  if I write: "OH MY GOD AMAZING!" etc then I really mean it. And when I find typos I let them know as well. I often leave long detailed comments when it is something that I love.

I use to write really bad fanfiction about Lost, Jack/Kate, or 'Jate' as they were called(JATE IS FATE!). I had this long melodramatic story starring them, with a lot of bad English and cheesy writing, and I just laugh when I think about it. I also wrote a lot of original writing, which I have fond memories of, but I am sure it wasn't much better.
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2010-05-11 11:27 pm

Writer's Block: School Daze

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The worst memories? I was bullied for a while so here is some: I got big chunks of snow thrown after me on my way to gym class, a long with my friends. I was called 'a shadow' because I depended too much on one of my friends, which in one instance resulted in people banging on their tables, yelling "shadow, shadow, shadow!!!", while I was in the room; some people even parodied the song from The Bear in The Blue house: "where, where is the shadow?!?!" which was pretty creative, I must say. I got back at them, though, by singing "Where, where is your beauty?!?!" to one of them. They stopped after that, because, yeah, they couln't deny that that was true. I was also teased because I wasn't good at carrying a lot of books at once, I was so tiny, so they'd end up falling down on the floor, and laugther would follow.

This is tame compared to what others went through.

I wasn't popular in highschool or in middle school; I chose certain friends, who were not well liked, and of course that wasn't 'in'. I was shy, sensitive, quiet, odd, silly, and introverted, and I depended too much on my friends. Later, when I did develop a personality, I was silly, weird, and wasn't afraid to be embarrasing or do embarrasing things, which wasn't 'cool'. There were certain rules on how to behave; anyone who was a little quirky and different was labeled a loser, so I was one of them. I wasn't in the geeky group, because homework and classes didn't interest me. I was more, like, in the group for people who were themselves and didn't give a crap(or pretended not to care) about what anyone else thought. (Janis, and Damian in Mean Girls, I think) But I was always there for my friends and they were there for me.(and they are the reason I practiced my English, so yay). I don't think that people really disliked me, I was just an easy target; insecure, weird, silly, and not mean. (at one point I was referred to as 'weird, but pretty'. Uh thanks assholes? Lol)...

So yes, I had some bad years, but after certain people left, and people matured, we all became friends. 10th grade was actually a really good year. In the end, I ended up having a good time. My early teen years weren't so easy; but I had some really good friends, so that helped me get through it all.

As for what I've learned? Kids are mean. It doesn't matter what you do; once you are labeled something, it will stick, all you can do is try to have fun; fuck the haters. That will, in the end, make you the better person, and you'll leave high-shcool knowing that you didn't ruin someone elses teen years; that is something. Also, people change, and they mature; holding grudges against these people won't help you in the long run( although I still struggle with that, but that's another thing).

No doubt that it had an affect on me, but there is nothing to do about it know; gotta look forward instead.<3
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2010-01-31 07:05 pm

Writer's Block: Random acts (and Jon stewart)

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I really don't know. I don't keep track of it, I just try be as nice as I can, hah. Not because of karma, but because I want to.

Also, omg you guys fjgsdjfhsj some wonderful soul posted Jon Stewart's interview om Oprah from 2005, on Youtube! Just.... watch it here:





OMG I FINALLY CAN SEE IT:D

....Does this count as a nice act, lol?
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2010-01-21 11:24 am

Writer's Block: A rose by any other name ...

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I originally intended to create this journal so that I could participate in communities and such. I wasn't planning on posting any entries in my journal at all. I came up with  'I am ashamed' because, well, I was ashamed about reading RPS and slash, because I had never heard of it before. I was still pretty ~new~ to the internet and wasn't aware of just how normal it was (compared to a lot of other things hidden in the depths of teh internetz). I started to use this journal more and more, and I began to write journal entries, get friends and find other communities to be a part of. It's basically my online persona, now. My username is mostly an inside- joke by this point;)
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2010-01-09 11:37 pm

Writer's Block: If you're not part of the solution ...

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Well, I'm a big gay-rights advocate, but since we already have civil unions here in Denmark,  I would like to keep it that way.  There isn't really a lot to do, though, so I'll just continue to support it, and try to speak up about the rights for gay couples to marry in churches, which still isn't an option. I  talk a lot about gay rights with my family and friends and speak up for the rights for gay people to adopt, which is still a bit controvesial for some people. You can adopt, but there is a lot of prejudice against it. I try to confront people if they come with a negative comment about homosexuality, and make it clear that I disagree, while telling them what I believe, and see if they have a prober counter- argument, other than religion and that "It doesn't feel right" (Which often isn't the case). I also speak out about the welfare state and the rights for sick and poor people to recieve free medical care, so I'm a little socialistic like that. I do not, however, support law against prostitution or any other kind of laws that would prohibit free will/speech for people, as long as it doesn't directly harm others, (crime, abuse, violence, bullying). I'm a bit of a hypocrit though, because I do support  that people pay taxes, so that the less fortunate can live, which *is* letting the goverment force people to pay for free healthcare. But that's the only place I find my self being a bit of a socialist, I think. I want people to be able to wear what they want (including burkaes) say what they want, and be able to have an impact on the country, which is why I don't consider healthcare as a "communist" thing, because we can vote to change things. People arent' being being opressed, they are taking part in democracy and can have a say and an impact.  Luckily not many people want to get rid of the welfare state, though, not even the most libetarian people I have met. The system isn't perfect though, we have a lot of issues to that I would like to help change, so there is no illusion for me there. I'm also a feminist, so I try to speak up against sexism, which sadly still is a norm someplaces in our culture. I try to show that females are able to discuss politics and have serious discussions, without being seen as a 'pretty looking things'. So yeah.