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I don't really get this question, tbh. Why and how would you ever 'choose' the number of siblings like that? I have 3 younger siblings, and despite of all of the fighting and all the hurting at times, I would never choose to remove/change any of them; and I definitely wouln't just 'add' a new sibling for my own benefit. I love my siblings for who they are, because they are my siblings, not because of how many they are, or what gender they are. Idk, it just feels weird to me that anyone would think of their siblings in numbers/genders like that.  But that's probably because I have siblings, so the thought of being able to choose like that is way too foreign to me. I get wanting siblings, though, but to think about 'how many' just weirds me out. I'd always wanted an older sibling, but I would never actually choose to get one, or to change things, even if I could.

or maybe I'm just reading too much into this question, lol.

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It's a day of reflection, mostly. I think about the victims of the attack, the families of the people who died in the attack, the survivors of the attack, and all the soldiers, from around the world, not just America, who have been fighting, and sometimes died, ever since the attack, to prevent this kind of thing from ever happening again. I think about where I was when it happened, and what impact it has had on America, and the rest of the world.

I don't remember much from 9/11, or even before 9/11, because I was only a 10/11 year old girl when the attack happened. 9/11 was the first big news event I remember hearing about, but I was so young, that I didn't really understand what it was about. I grew up in a post-9/11 world, so I only remember the day through child-eyes. It was only years later that I actually began to think about it, and understand what happened on that day.

This is what I remember from that day:

It was around afternoon here, because of the time differences between Denmark and America, and I was playing with a friend. After my friend went home, I went into the living room, and saw my parents watching the news, where the images of the twin towers burning caught my eyes. I thought it looked like a movie, so I asked what it was. My mother told me that some really bad people had attacked some famous buildings in America, and killed a lot of people. I also remember seeing the buildings crumple, and being a little bit afraid, but the rest of the day is a blur. Next day in school, we talked about the attacks, and held 5 minutes silence for all the victims. I remember asking, angry and disgusted, "But if these people wanted to kill themselves, why did they have to take so many innocent people with them?!" because I was too young, and too innocent,  to understand the horrible fact, that goal wasn't to commit suicide, but to cause pain and hurt to others. It was only years later that I found out that this was the case. I also remember days after the attack, seeing pictures of people falling from the towers in the magazines, and being shocked. It still haunts me.

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It depends. If I visit a community like ONTD, I'm not there for the celebs, I'm there for the snark in the comments. I don't really care about the lives of the celebs, I'm just there for fun.

I do care about the lives of celebrities who I love and admire, to a certain extent. I don't go out of my way, trying to find stuff, that's not public information. I think that there's a fine line between looking at information, that anyone can find, and go looking for information, that's not in the public eye. I try not doing the latter. I am also well aware that the persona of the celebrity in question, is a front put up when they're in the public eye. I don't *really* know the person, even if I have an idea about who they are as a person; so I don't feel totally creepy being a fan of them. Sometimes I stumble upon things that contain uncomfortable information, and I try to ignore it, or skip over it when that happens.

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I'm against it. I don't believe that it is morally right to kill a person, as much as they might deserve it. Eye for an eye, or kill for a kill? I don't believe in that. It actually disgusts me that we still do this in 2010. I realize some people's crimes are so horrific, that they might deserve to die, but I'd rather see them locked up for life, than support the killing of them.

It's not that I feel for them, or that I support them in any way, it's just that I can't see myself support the death of a person, no matter how much they deserve it. I couldn't care less about the sick bastard who did the crime,  they deserve all the pain in the world for all I care; it's about my morals on the issue.

Which is pretty self-centered and might be wrong, but yeah.

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Mine's Louise, and although it's pronounced differently in Danish(Lou-eez-uh), I actually like the English pronunciation better; in real life still use the Danish pronunciation, though. I would never want to change my name to another one, because names are names, and I don't feel like that's a decision I want to make; If other people choose to do that it's their business, of course.

ETA: The first one is pretty much how my name sounds in Danish: http://www.forvo.com/word/louise_bourgeois/,

and here: http://www.forvo.com/word/louise_de_lorraine-vaud%C3%A9mont/.

/Riveting tale chap.

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I've had several rare moments, and when they happen, they almost make up, just a little bit, for some of the tragic failures of humanity.

Jon Stewart is one of the people who continuously gives me faith in humanity. I can't even begin to explain why, because the love and respect I have for that man goes beyond words. He brings laugther, joy, and sense into a world that has so many flaws. His show gives me a sense of not being alone with my thoughts and feelings on everything from politics to basic human decency.

He also does a good job killing the stererotype of what ALL Americans are like. Living in a socialistic 'sissy' country that Bill O'reilly and Glenn Beck have so often used to create fear and fuel ignorance, it is refreshing to see opinions from an American who doesn't hate us or our values with a fiery passion, and who still doesn't shill for any party. And, as it turns out, there are many other Americans just like him out there, and I've met a lot of these people through mutual love of his show, and it has changed on how I see America and Americans. So thanks for that.

He is also supportive of basic human decency, like gay rights and helping the poor, which is some of the things that, in my opinion, makes a person very good. Him, being rich, outright saying that he wouln't mind paying more taxes to help poor people, gives me faith in the notion that some people, no matter how rich or famous they get, don't forget their basic human decency. He is one of the people who often create those moments in my life.

There has been other things, just little things, that people do sometimes, that gives me faith in humanity. Whether it is hearing about a child trying to earn money to help a family member out, seeing normal everyday people helping after a disaster or an accident took place, or people standing up for what is morally right. Moments like these, when people come together, in love, and help each other out, are heartwarming and gives me faith in humanity.

I often hate humanity and the bigotry of people, but there are moments where people do show their goodness and their compassion, and those moments mean a lot to me.

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The worst memories? I was bullied for a while so here is some: I got big chunks of snow thrown after me on my way to gym class, a long with my friends. I was called 'a shadow' because I depended too much on one of my friends, which in one instance resulted in people banging on their tables, yelling "shadow, shadow, shadow!!!", while I was in the room; some people even parodied the song from The Bear in The Blue house: "where, where is the shadow?!?!" which was pretty creative, I must say. I got back at them, though, by singing "Where, where is your beauty?!?!" to one of them. They stopped after that, because, yeah, they couln't deny that that was true. I was also teased because I wasn't good at carrying a lot of books at once, I was so tiny, so they'd end up falling down on the floor, and laugther would follow.

This is tame compared to what others went through.

I wasn't popular in highschool or in middle school; I chose certain friends, who were not well liked, and of course that wasn't 'in'. I was shy, sensitive, quiet, odd, silly, and introverted, and I depended too much on my friends. Later, when I did develop a personality, I was silly, weird, and wasn't afraid to be embarrasing or do embarrasing things, which wasn't 'cool'. There were certain rules on how to behave; anyone who was a little quirky and different was labeled a loser, so I was one of them. I wasn't in the geeky group, because homework and classes didn't interest me. I was more, like, in the group for people who were themselves and didn't give a crap(or pretended not to care) about what anyone else thought. (Janis, and Damian in Mean Girls, I think) But I was always there for my friends and they were there for me.(and they are the reason I practiced my English, so yay). I don't think that people really disliked me, I was just an easy target; insecure, weird, silly, and not mean. (at one point I was referred to as 'weird, but pretty'. Uh thanks assholes? Lol)...

So yes, I had some bad years, but after certain people left, and people matured, we all became friends. 10th grade was actually a really good year. In the end, I ended up having a good time. My early teen years weren't so easy; but I had some really good friends, so that helped me get through it all.

As for what I've learned? Kids are mean. It doesn't matter what you do; once you are labeled something, it will stick, all you can do is try to have fun; fuck the haters. That will, in the end, make you the better person, and you'll leave high-shcool knowing that you didn't ruin someone elses teen years; that is something. Also, people change, and they mature; holding grudges against these people won't help you in the long run( although I still struggle with that, but that's another thing).

No doubt that it had an affect on me, but there is nothing to do about it know; gotta look forward instead.<3

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I originally intended to create this journal so that I could participate in communities and such. I wasn't planning on posting any entries in my journal at all. I came up with  'I am ashamed' because, well, I was ashamed about reading RPS and slash, because I had never heard of it before. I was still pretty ~new~ to the internet and wasn't aware of just how normal it was (compared to a lot of other things hidden in the depths of teh internetz). I started to use this journal more and more, and I began to write journal entries, get friends and find other communities to be a part of. It's basically my online persona, now. My username is mostly an inside- joke by this point;)