iamashamed | Entries tagged with writer's block

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My lack of self-confidence/self-worth, in general, I think. I have a hard time believing in myself, and I struggle to believe other people, when they point out positive things about me; which means that I seek out constant validation from people, but don't take compliments well (when I get them); and that isn't exactly fair to the people around me. It's... a constant work in progress, basically. I do hope that I'll someday be able to be happy and proud of who I am, as a full person, and that I'll be able to accept all my faults as well; but it won't happen over night. It takes time and work, and I know that. I'm getting closer every day, though, so that's good.

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TL;DR under the cut:

( Rant about my best childhood friend under the cut. )

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We don't celebrate that here in Denmark. Showing your American centrism, yet again, LJ? :P.

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I don't really get this question, tbh. Why and how would you ever 'choose' the number of siblings like that? I have 3 younger siblings, and despite of all of the fighting and all the hurting at times, I would never choose to remove/change any of them; and I definitely wouln't just 'add' a new sibling for my own benefit. I love my siblings for who they are, because they are my siblings, not because of how many they are, or what gender they are. Idk, it just feels weird to me that anyone would think of their siblings in numbers/genders like that. But that's probably because I have siblings, so the thought of being able to choose like that is way too foreign to me. I get wanting siblings, though, but to think about 'how many' just weirds me out. I'd always wanted an older sibling, but I would never actually choose to get one, or to change things, even if I could.

or maybe I'm just reading too much into this question, lol.

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I have OCD, so negative obsessions are not a foreign subject to me, but in my case they have been, and still are, very different from being passionate about something to the point of an obsession. Negative obsessions, for me, are things that sneak up on you, that won't go away no matter how much you want them to; things that makes you feel so pained and hurt, to the point of despair (if your obsession about something makes you unable to function, or hurt others, then it's also a problem, of course). And when I'm passionate about something, it's because it gives me happiness and joy, or because I think it's important. And even when I am obsessed, it still doesn't hurt me, really. So what if I've got Jon Stewart on my mind a lot, as long as it doesn't pain me to the point of wishing for death, or somehow hurts him/makes me unable to function, it's not negative to me. I try to separate my fannish/social- change obsessions from my OCD obsessions, because the difference lie in how the obsessions make me feel, and how it impacts others. And even if my passion about social- causes can hurt me, it's not directly thinking about the causes that pains me; it's how people treat/react to the causes. Does that make sense? The causes are things I want to think about, things that I want to care about, even if they can depress me; my OCD is not. And yeah, sometimes the two can bleed together, because my OCD shapes my way of thinking about things, and how much I think about things, but they're still two vastly different things to me. The only similarity, to me, is that they're both a form of an obsession; that's it.

Old writer's block, sorry, I know, but I just needed to rant a little. It's probably incoherent and full of mistakes, but whatever.

I'll try to do a real update soon, I promise; today has just been too exhausting, because I've been pumped with all this new information, and I need to process it, before I can do anything else. Hope you are all well.

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It's a day of reflection, mostly. I think about the victims of the attack, the families of the people who died in the attack, the survivors of the attack, and all the soldiers, from around the world, not just America, who have been fighting, and sometimes died, ever since the attack, to prevent this kind of thing from ever happening again. I think about where I was when it happened, and what impact it has had on America, and the rest of the world.

I don't remember much from 9/11, or even before 9/11, because I was only a 10/11 year old girl when the attack happened. 9/11 was the first big news event I remember hearing about, but I was so young, that I didn't really understand what it was about. I grew up in a post-9/11 world, so I only remember the day through child-eyes. It was only years later that I actually began to think about it, and understand what happened on that day.

This is what I remember from that day:

It was around afternoon here, because of the time differences between Denmark and America, and I was playing with a friend. After my friend went home, I went into the living room, and saw my parents watching the news, where the images of the twin towers burning caught my eyes. I thought it looked like a movie, so I asked what it was. My mother told me that some really bad people had attacked some famous buildings in America, and killed a lot of people. I also remember seeing the buildings crumple, and being a little bit afraid, but the rest of the day is a blur. Next day in school, we talked about the attacks, and held 5 minutes silence for all the victims. I remember asking, angry and disgusted, "But if these people wanted to kill themselves, why did they have to take so many innocent people with them?!" because I was too young, and too innocent, to understand the horrible fact, that goal wasn't to commit suicide, but to cause pain and hurt to others. It was only years later that I found out that this was the case. I also remember days after the attack, seeing pictures of people falling from the towers in the magazines, and being shocked. It still haunts me.

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Not really, no. I've had a couple of anons on LJ trying to start shit, but that's it. No one has ever really harassed me on here, or elsewhere on the internet, thankfully.

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It depends. If I visit a community like ONTD, I'm not there for the celebs, I'm there for the snark in the comments. I don't really care about the lives of the celebs, I'm just there for fun.

I do care about the lives of celebrities who I love and admire, to a certain extent. I don't go out of my way, trying to find stuff, that's not public information. I think that there's a fine line between looking at information, that anyone can find, and go looking for information, that's not in the public eye. I try not doing the latter. I am also well aware that the persona of the celebrity in question, is a front put up when they're in the public eye. I don't *really* know the person, even if I have an idea about who they are as a person; so I don't feel totally creepy being a fan of them. Sometimes I stumble upon things that contain uncomfortable information, and I try to ignore it, or skip over it when that happens.

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No, I don't. There are so many people who deserve attention, money, and recognition far more than celebrities do. (I'm thinking about people like doctors/nurses, therapists, firefigthers, and other people who's made a real difference it peoples lives.) Our culture is fucked up in regards of a lot of things, and fame is one of them; and although you can't put it in the same category as racism, sexism, and others forms of -isms, it still does some damage to our culture(tabloids, for one, puts up certain body images, invades privacy, and focuses on beauty to a scary degree).

Of course, how much fame is deserved, also depends on the celebrity. If you look at someone like Jon Stewart, he is famous for other reasons than, for example, Miley Cyrus is. In my mind he deserves fame, the money, and recognition(not as much as doctors, firefighters, therapists etc, but far more than Miley Cyrus), because he's famous for making a difference in our culture, in regards of things that matter.

And it is some very positive changes he's made; he's gotten young people into politics again, he has made them care more about different political issues, the news, and social justice. Even if this is done through satire and comedy, it has had an impact on a lot of people, and made a change in peoples lives(mine included).

When you compare that to Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothes, and Justin Bieber, who make mindless teen music, there's a huge difference.

And then you can take J.K Rowling, and compare her to Stephanie Meyer, and see what difference that makes. J.K Rowling can write, Stephanie Meyer can not. J.K Rowlings books are about love, loyalty, friendship and bravery. Stephenie Meyers are about sparkly abusive vampires, and being 'in love'. J.k Rowling has gotten a lot of children into reading again, taught them wonderful morals, and wrote them a fantastic story. Stephanie Meyer has glorified abusive relationships and bad writing, and made a sorry excuse of a story.

You can be famous for a lot of things; unfortunately it's often the most shallow and non-important things that gets the most attention. So yes, our culture is messed up in regards of this, even if it does sometime get it right; (Jon Stewart, J.K Rowling, etc). I'm not saying that there's something wrong with mindless pop music, or shitty written stories, I'm guilty of liking some of those things myself(Lady Gaga), but the glorification and attention these things get, compared to others, is messed up, in my opinion.

The again, this is only my, very biased, opinion on this issue, so idk.

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I'm against it. I don't believe that it is morally right to kill a person, as much as they might deserve it. Eye for an eye, or kill for a kill? I don't believe in that. It actually disgusts me that we still do this in 2010. I realize some people's crimes are so horrific, that they might deserve to die, but I'd rather see them locked up for life, than support the killing of them.

It's not that I feel for them, or that I support them in any way, it's just that I can't see myself support the death of a person, no matter how much they deserve it. I couldn't care less about the sick bastard who did the crime, they deserve all the pain in the world for all I care; it's about my morals on the issue.

Which is pretty self-centered and might be wrong, but yeah.

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Page Summary

Writer's Block: Breaking the habit
Writer's Block: You're my best friend
Writer's Block: That's one cold turkey
Writer's Block: Family matters
Writer's Block: Mark Antony, we hardly knew ye
Writer's Block: The day the earth stood still
Writer's Block: Personality goes a long way
Writer's Block: I'm your biggest fan
Writer's Block: Star struck
Writer's Block: Capital offense

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Leave all your love and your longing behind...

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Entries tagged with writer's block

Writer's Block: Breaking the habit

Writer's Block: You're my best friend

Writer's Block: That's one cold turkey

Writer's Block: Family matters

Writer's Block: Mark Antony, we hardly knew ye

Writer's Block: The day the earth stood still

Writer's Block: Personality goes a long way

Writer's Block: I'm your biggest fan

Writer's Block: Star struck

Writer's Block: Capital offense