Again, nothing personal. But my Flist is so big, especially compared to how many people I actually talk to. So yeah, if we talk and you still use your journal, I probably won't remove you.
My lack of self-confidence/self-worth, in general, I think. I have a hard time believing in myself, and I struggle to believe other people, when they point out positive things about me; which means that I seek out constant validation from people, but don't take compliments well (when I get them); and that isn't exactly fair to the people around me. It's... a constant work in progress, basically. I do hope that I'll someday be able to be happy and proud of who I am, as a full person, and that I'll be able to accept all my faults as well; but it won't happen over night. It takes time and work, and I know that. I'm getting closer every day, though, so that's good.
I don't really get this question, tbh. Why and how would you ever 'choose' the number of siblings like that? I have 3 younger siblings, and despite of all of the fighting and all the hurting at times, I would never choose to remove/change any of them; and I definitely wouln't just 'add' a new sibling for my own benefit. I love my siblings for who they are, because they are my siblings, not because of how many they are, or what gender they are. Idk, it just feels weird to me that anyone would think of their siblings in numbers/genders like that. But that's probably because I have siblings, so the thought of being able to choose like that is way too foreign to me. I get wanting siblings, though, but to think about 'how many' just weirds me out. I'd always wanted an older sibling, but I would never actually choose to get one, or to change things, even if I could.
or maybe I'm just reading too much into this question, lol.
I have OCD, so negative obsessions are not a foreign subject to me, but in my case they have been, and still are, very different from being passionate about something to the point of an obsession. Negative obsessions, for me, are things that sneak up on you, that won't go away no matter how much you want them to; things that makes you feel so pained and hurt, to the point of despair (if your obsession about something makes you unable to function, or hurt others, then it's also a problem, of course). And when I'm passionate about something, it's because it gives me happiness and joy, or because I think it's important. And even when I am obsessed, it still doesn't hurt me, really. So what if I've got Jon Stewart on my mind a lot, as long as it doesn't pain me to the point of wishing for death, or somehow hurts him/makes me unable to function, it's not negative to me. I try to separate my fannish/social- change obsessions from my OCD obsessions, because the difference lie in how the obsessions make me feel, and how it impacts others. And even if my passion about social- causes can hurt me, it's not directly thinking about the causes that pains me; it's how people treat/react to the causes. Does that make sense? The causes are things I want to think about, things that I want to care about, even if they can depress me; my OCD is not. And yeah, sometimes the two can bleed together, because my OCD shapes my way of thinking about things, and how much I think about things, but they're still two vastly different things to me. The only similarity, to me, is that they're both a form of an obsession; that's it.
Old writer's block, sorry, I know, but I just needed to rant a little. It's probably incoherent and full of mistakes, but whatever.
I'll try to do a real update soon, I promise; today has just been too exhausting, because I've been pumped with all this new information, and I need to process it, before I can do anything else. Hope you are all well.
It's a day of reflection, mostly. I think about the victims of the attack, the families of the people who died in the attack, the survivors of the attack, and all the soldiers, from around the world, not just America, who have been fighting, and sometimes died, ever since the attack, to prevent this kind of thing from ever happening again. I think about where I was when it happened, and what impact it has had on America, and the rest of the world.
I don't remember much from 9/11, or even before 9/11, because I was only a 10/11 year old girl when the attack happened. 9/11 was the first big news event I remember hearing about, but I was so young, that I didn't really understand what it was about. I grew up in a post-9/11 world, so I only remember the day through child-eyes. It was only years later that I actually began to think about it, and understand what happened on that day.
This is what I remember from that day:
It was around afternoon here, because of the time differences between Denmark and America, and I was playing with a friend. After my friend went home, I went into the living room, and saw my parents watching the news, where the images of the twin towers burning caught my eyes. I thought it looked like a movie, so I asked what it was. My mother told me that some really bad people had attacked some famous buildings in America, and killed a lot of people. I also remember seeing the buildings crumple, and being a little bit afraid, but the rest of the day is a blur. Next day in school, we talked about the attacks, and held 5 minutes silence for all the victims. I remember asking, angry and disgusted, "But if these people wanted to kill themselves, why did they have to take so many innocent people with them?!" because I was too young, and too innocent, to understand the horrible fact, that goal wasn't to commit suicide, but to cause pain and hurt to others. It was only years later that I found out that this was the case. I also remember days after the attack, seeing pictures of people falling from the towers in the magazines, and being shocked. It still haunts me.
I watch The Daily Show, I enjoy The Daily Show, and I respect and admire The Daily Show. But I also realize that I shouln't count on them for news, or take everything Jon Stewart says at face value. And I realize that they are only humans, and therefore have faults, and make mistakes, just like everyone else.
Lately, I have seen a lot of people criticize the Daily show, and their role in the media. And while many of the allegations have been very valid (sexism, racism, and ableism etc), there are some allegations that I do not agree with. At all.
( More under cut: )
If any of you see this girl, please contact the police first, and then her mother; bifemmefatale . People are worried about the girl's safety.
I don't know, and haven't even talked to
bifemmefatale, + I'm not even in the same country as she is, but I'm spreading the word around, in case that peopleEta: she was found, yay.
on my flist are in the area. Please do the same.